Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
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