My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
