Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
