Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
