We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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