Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
