He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
