i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
