dude i'm inner monologue high
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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