i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
