There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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