I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
