and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
