You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize