I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
