Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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