i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
