Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
