Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
