Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
