Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
