He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
