I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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