That reminds me...we need to get swords
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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