Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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