Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
