help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
