he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
