i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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