i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
