i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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