he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize