Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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