you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
