This girl is more easily done than said...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
