As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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