these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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