what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
