Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is my gift to your gina
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
