You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
