Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
