if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
