I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Buhtt sex?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Who died my cat blue again?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize