You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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