I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
