I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
