8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize