like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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