Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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