dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
