i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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