he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dick very happy bro
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
