one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
