Buhtt sex?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
