Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
