Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
