if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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