we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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