Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
