sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
