you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
