I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize