So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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