all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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