There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
