woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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